Fragments of Jenna's Story, Part 4
I had decided a while ago that I didn’t want to force an ending to Jenna’s story, to somehow try to make it all work out well. Actually, I had been planning to begin writing and see where the creative urge took me. If I’m going to do this right, then I want to have an honest ending, not a “happily ever after” ending so that the reader can put down the book, smile, and go to sleep.
At the same time, I had a sense that Jenna’s story would turn out well. For some reason, I thought that she would come out on the other side of her trials better than when she entered them. And so, I was not particularly surprised when my ending finally unfolded for me. It’s very rough, but I wanted to get it down before I lost it.
=====
Jenna awoke.
She lay in the darkness, unsure what had disturbed her. Was it the baby? She did not hear any crying. She sighed. Only a few weeks on the job, and motherhood was turning out to be harder than she had expected.
Her husband mumbled something in his sleep. She turned to him and kissed his brow. “Don’t worry,” she whispered. “I’ll get Renee when she wakes. You sleep.” But he was already fast asleep again.
Jenna watched him as he slept. What a blessing he had been. Had it really been only two years since they had been married? It felt like forever, and it was wonderful. Joshua was so patient with her, so loving and caring. “I don’t deserve you,” she told her sleeping husband. “You take such good care of me, and I don’t know why. But I love you for it.” She cuddled up next to him, listening to his slow breathing. “I love this life,” she thought.
A cry from the other room. Renee was awake after all. Jenna pulled herself out of bed and threw on her bathrobe. “I’m here,” she said as she entered her daughter’s room. “It’s okay. Mommy is here now.” She picked up Renee and settled into the rocking chair. Renee was definitely hungry. Jenna yawned loudly.
“Jenna, is that any way to greet an old friend?” Across the room, the closet door swung open. The Monster flowed out from the darkness.
Jenna stared at him in defiance. “You can’t touch me anymore. You know that.”
“Oh, certainly. I’m just stopping by.” The Monster looked her over. “You’ve grown quite a bit.”
“You haven’t changed at all.”
The Monster cocked its head. “You don’t think so?”
Renee burbled.
“Oh, is that your daughter?” said the Monster. “A lovely creature, isn’t she? So sweet. So innocent. Untouched by the ravages of the cruel world, yes?” It reached out a black talon to caress her cheek.
Jenna clutched Renee to herself. “Get out! I won’t let you touch her. I won’t let you. This time it will be different. You won’t get your claws into Renee like you got them into me.”
The Monster smiled. “Do you really think that you can stop me? This city is mine. I am in the air that you breathe. I am in the water that you drink. When you walk down the street, I’m there. When you turn on your television, I’m there. I am in the grocery store and the library and that cute little daycare center down the street. I am in the schools and in the hospitals and in the city hall. What makes you think that you can even lift a finger against me?”
Jenna wrapped her arms around Renee. “All those things are true. You are bigger than I am, and you are stronger than I am. I can’t stop you everywhere, but I will stop you here. This is my daughter, and you cannot have her!”
The Monster chuckled dryly. “Good! I enjoy a good fight.” It walked to the closet door. “You won’t be able to guard her forever. In the end, I win. I always win.” The door closed behind it.
Jenna sat in the rocking chair, shaking. Motherhood was turning out to be harder than she had expected. But how else could you fight the Monster? Jenna knew that there was only one way.
You fight the Monster one child at a time.
Jenna rocked her daughter to sleep.
At the same time, I had a sense that Jenna’s story would turn out well. For some reason, I thought that she would come out on the other side of her trials better than when she entered them. And so, I was not particularly surprised when my ending finally unfolded for me. It’s very rough, but I wanted to get it down before I lost it.
=====
Jenna awoke.
She lay in the darkness, unsure what had disturbed her. Was it the baby? She did not hear any crying. She sighed. Only a few weeks on the job, and motherhood was turning out to be harder than she had expected.
Her husband mumbled something in his sleep. She turned to him and kissed his brow. “Don’t worry,” she whispered. “I’ll get Renee when she wakes. You sleep.” But he was already fast asleep again.
Jenna watched him as he slept. What a blessing he had been. Had it really been only two years since they had been married? It felt like forever, and it was wonderful. Joshua was so patient with her, so loving and caring. “I don’t deserve you,” she told her sleeping husband. “You take such good care of me, and I don’t know why. But I love you for it.” She cuddled up next to him, listening to his slow breathing. “I love this life,” she thought.
A cry from the other room. Renee was awake after all. Jenna pulled herself out of bed and threw on her bathrobe. “I’m here,” she said as she entered her daughter’s room. “It’s okay. Mommy is here now.” She picked up Renee and settled into the rocking chair. Renee was definitely hungry. Jenna yawned loudly.
“Jenna, is that any way to greet an old friend?” Across the room, the closet door swung open. The Monster flowed out from the darkness.
Jenna stared at him in defiance. “You can’t touch me anymore. You know that.”
“Oh, certainly. I’m just stopping by.” The Monster looked her over. “You’ve grown quite a bit.”
“You haven’t changed at all.”
The Monster cocked its head. “You don’t think so?”
Renee burbled.
“Oh, is that your daughter?” said the Monster. “A lovely creature, isn’t she? So sweet. So innocent. Untouched by the ravages of the cruel world, yes?” It reached out a black talon to caress her cheek.
Jenna clutched Renee to herself. “Get out! I won’t let you touch her. I won’t let you. This time it will be different. You won’t get your claws into Renee like you got them into me.”
The Monster smiled. “Do you really think that you can stop me? This city is mine. I am in the air that you breathe. I am in the water that you drink. When you walk down the street, I’m there. When you turn on your television, I’m there. I am in the grocery store and the library and that cute little daycare center down the street. I am in the schools and in the hospitals and in the city hall. What makes you think that you can even lift a finger against me?”
Jenna wrapped her arms around Renee. “All those things are true. You are bigger than I am, and you are stronger than I am. I can’t stop you everywhere, but I will stop you here. This is my daughter, and you cannot have her!”
The Monster chuckled dryly. “Good! I enjoy a good fight.” It walked to the closet door. “You won’t be able to guard her forever. In the end, I win. I always win.” The door closed behind it.
Jenna sat in the rocking chair, shaking. Motherhood was turning out to be harder than she had expected. But how else could you fight the Monster? Jenna knew that there was only one way.
You fight the Monster one child at a time.
Jenna rocked her daughter to sleep.
posted by Seth Ben-Ezra at 12:18 AM
5 Comments:
I didn't know it was possible for you to have a happy ending! Well done. I think I understand the monster better now.
I especially liked Jenna's husband's name. :-)
I'll bet you did. :-)
I'm trying to work on my symbolism in this book, and that includes my naming. Jenna doesn't have a particular meaning, largely because she was already named before I began this project. However, "Abigail" ([my]father [is/of] joy) and "Joshua" (Yahweh is salvation) both seemed like appropriate names for the characters. I'm hoping to continue this trend as I create other characters.
I can’t decide if I like the happy ending or not. I can tell you that based on some things that I have seen recently in my life, the Monster will always be there for Jenna. She will be in a constant battle with it, every day. Jenna knows though that the love she has for her husband and daughter will give her the strength to fight off the Monster. She knows just as I do, that no matter what, the Monster is there… lurking beneath the surface.
I will say that it is amazing what love can do for you. It gives you strength to fight off forces that you never thought you could fight off. It gives you the ability to see in your heart and mind what is really important to you. It can lead you down a path that you never in a million years thought you would go down. I’m not trying to be the eternal optimist, because I am truly the eternal pessimist, and I am not saying that love conquers all, because it doesn’t, but it has brought joy, happiness and optimism into my life. The thing is, when you realize you have that love in your heart, it hits you like a ton of bricks and you will do ANYTHING in your power to protect the ones you love.
Thank you for the story. I enjoyed reading it.
Hi, Lurker!
Believe me, I know that the Monster won't go away. I'm drawing a lot on the experiences of my wife. On the one hand, she still struggles with the fallout from her past. At the same time, she has been given true deliverance through Jesus, and the effects of His intervention are also still resonating through her life.
I don't want to cheapen Jenna's struggles by having an ending that says, "And they all lived happily ever after." Because you're right; the problems don't just vanish into the air. But, at the same time, I want to show that there is real deliverance from the Monster through Jesus, both for the individual and for the family line. The cycle of violence is broken in Jenna's generation, and I want to show that the next generation will be experiencing something else. Something better.
I agree with your depiction. I can’t imagine the pain and suffering your wife went through that would bring such a story to life. I know that writing can be very cathartic for not only the writer but also the reader. Although I do not consider myself a writer, when I do sit down to write, putting what is happening in my life down on paper is good for my soul. I am glad that your relationship with your wife is one of that where you feel you can use her experiences to write and thus bring about feelings and emotions in your readers.
Having followed this story from your first post, I know that it did generate some heated discussions about not only the story but also regarding the language. I stand by my original statements that your use of the language was real world and genuine depiction of what happens in an abusive relationship.
Post a Comment
<< Home